Listen up, Busy.

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Oh, Busy.

You clamor at me like golden gong winces in my ear.

Bang. Clang.

You chatter at me like squirrel stores away oak treasure.

Drop. Find.

You boast at me like new king proud in plush velvet robe.

Gone. Quick.

You pursue me like frothing lion clad in shadow.

Dark. Pounce.

You bait me like ganache dripping long with raspberries.

Bliss. Wink.

You serenade me like salt waves soft on moon soaked nights.

Sweet. Blur.

You overwhelm me like hurricane blows merciless.

Beat. Thrown.

Oh, but, Busy:

You are not so nectarous and alluring after all.

Oh, and this, too, Busy:

You are not so strong and forcible, either.

Oh, and one last thing, Busy:

The truth is I liked you once upon a time.

Because,

You rescued me when I walked wandering.

You blinded me when hurt arrived knocking.

You played me when I thought my good was your doing.

You tricked me when I thought my worth was your producing.

You lured me when I said false my family was not at your beckoning.

Lies.

Ha.

But the truth is not a lie, Busy.

This is Splitsville.

Day by day, thought by thought, moment by moment.

I will choose more than what you offer, Busy.

I’m choosing now what you tell me I’m missing.

And truth,

Truth brings freedom, Busy.

And the truth is:

I’m not gonna miss a thing.

Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork… wake up from your sleep… make the most of every chance you get…

+Ephesians 5, The Message

Choices

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1-058How do you fall down at the feet of God?

::::::::::::::::::::::: before all is completed in Glory?

::::::::::::::::::::: while we are still on Earth?

Truly fall down at His feet, with our hair cascading and our eyes full of thanks and faith and our most-precious oil spilling?

:::::::::::::::::::::: in our limited knowledge and ability?

Fall down:

in complete adoration?

in overwhelming reverence?

in sweeping humility?

in unabbreviated thanksgiving?

in the world swirling feral and you really only see Him?

And the super- love He has for you?

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What is one thing He dreams for us more than some other things?

When is it that the peace comes all- encompassing…

the peace higher and elevated and lofted up above all understanding…

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding…. +Philippians 4

When is it that this peace…

becomes this tangible entity that dangles from our fingertips and trills from our mouths and shines in our eyes and beats in our human hearts and bursts this untamed, lovely grace-filled laugh that echoes into eternity?

When is it that we taste His peace and savor it the most and want more of it dancing wild in our day and settling glistening on our skin and holding it soft and light and balancing delicious on our palm….

… since now, it seems, for the first time, we know we cannot lose it?

And we awake sudden, and peace is just there?

And we did not quite notice at first?

delicate and easy and caressing?

This peace –evident satiating our being:::

not even a thing we need to grip-hold-fast-tight-pray-it-doesn’t-leave when we feel it….

…anymore???

And it does not feel white-knuckled sweating and fist-aching-arthritic squeezing,

We looked for peace, but no good came… +Jeremiah 8

When is it that the thing that is gripping-tight is actually His peace-grasp on us?

and this, this cradling-sway of warmth wrapped deep around us, like He has found us and secured us anchor-safe to Himself and we can just…

… be?

with Him?

…that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way… +1 Timothy 2

That He is in us, and we are cleaved to Him and He has all pieces of us and we can just…

…. be

with Him.

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… seek peace and pursue it… +Psalm 34

I think the thing that He craves from us, if the Lord does crave, in His love for us, is our true

obedience.

The kind of obedience that can only equal peace.

… for obedience to Jesus Christ… may grace and peace be multiplied to you. +1 Peter 1

I think that in the unfolding of the day, when it is dew-wet and sun-birthing, that when our eyes flutter light, that He waits for our choice.

I think that when we grab our bibles and whisper our praise- prayers and fumble with throwing off blankets, he waits for our choice.

I think that when we stumble hair-mussed and unclean to the coffee pot, that He waits for our choice.

I think that when we breath deep first and look at the phone and read the appointments and sigh-frown at the schedule and lock our door and peer to the left and the right, He waits for our choice.

I think that when we talk to her and see him and run that real-quick errand and finish that distracting project waiting, He waits for our choice.

I think that when we munch routinely that snack and pour that cup and lift that heavy weight and close that open door and find the key that works, He waits for our choice.

I think that when we sip on dusk falling down on a day and read that book and kiss those kids and hug that husband and slip into bed with that wife, He waits for our choice.

Each step, each breath:::: commanding a choice.

Will we choose Him in all things?

Each step…

the ones that are tiny and timid…

the ones that are scared and scarred…

the ones that are large and looming…

the ones that are…

easy?

… for the ways of the Lord are right… +Hosea 14

I think He urges us to obey, pursues us so we walk in His way, beseeches us to straighten our path, entreats us to remember Him in all things…

and above all that, as if there is one last love-move to reach over the valley of flesh and find His own…

He…

…gives His obedient Son to bleed on the cross…

so that we…

can have…

His peace.

Oh, the brilliant, beautiful, undeserved love of our sovereign, all-knowing God.

His Son. His obedience. Our peace.

If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God…

by loving the Lord your God,

by walking in His ways,

and by keeping… his rules,

then you shall live…

and the Lord your God will bless you in the land…

Deuteronomy 30

life learning

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School starts for us here, in our little corner, next week.

Homeschool.

Home ::: School.

School at Home.

I love the sound of that.

It seems the most natural thing to this momma’s ears and heart and I have not yet even

:::::begun.

This new thing revolving deep around our family::::

The way the home is weaving into the schooling weaving into the work weaving into the family weaving into this adventure He has planned for us.

….flowing with no lines and all blurred::: organic and primal and enticing::: like the way it was meant to be lived.

Homegrown.

::::::::::But then there’s me.

…a public school teacher once upon a time, seemingly eons…

…. or a little more than a year ago.

And now, homeschooling?

I understand the test scores and the extra-curriculars and the school bus and the pressure and the reading programs and the feeling spent and the math bandwagon- changes and the vacations and the pouring yourself out for them and the mustering of patience and the pure joy when the light turns on and that smile appears on a young face and the standards to meet and the collegial discussion and the underappreciated beauty of a new textbook cracking open for the first time… I loved it.

And now there is THIS.

This new teaching for me.

This one that flutters about in my gut more than the first day fourteen years ago when I stepped into that brick school and into that yellow classroom with all of those deep, hungry, waiting to be satiated child eyes that I grew to adore and called my kids.

This is different.

This IS my kid.

::::::WHOA.

This is my baby that has her Daddy’s nose and my chuckle::: leaning full throttle into me and unknowingly depending on me to faithfully and consistently breath and speak knowledge into her so she can exhale some good words and calculate some numbers and repeat and apply the scientific method and figure an analogy and draw world history on a timeline and…. maybe even teach her a bit of this thing called life.

And that is where I stop up quick. Tall order.

But that is it.

There it is.

The reason we chose to homeschool.

LIFE.

Life that brings birth and the birth that spills need and the need that begets searching and the searching that leads to curiosity and the curiosity that commands learning and the learning that beckons knowledge and the knowledge that breeds giving and the giving that manifests love.

That’s why we are homeschooling. We want her to know LIFE like that.

Ultimately, in the teaching, in my utmost, to show her love like this.

:::: Love like His.

I want her to know that life is not built always into compartments and departments and boxes piled up and in a row.

She doesn’t have to only learn here and only dance there and think that this is just the way you do this life-thing that can huff down our necks and chase us to the next activity and slobber media and comparison all over us while we sweat deadlines and status and world-conforming notions that never bring us closer to::::

:::::love.

Uninterrupted.

Unfettered and Unfurled.

:::::the love and life that rises and falls with Him.

I want love-learning to be real and fluid::: no ending and no beginning::::

::::: Resonating.

True. In the everyday and daily.

In the learning at the grocery line and in the umpteen-million questions in the car and in the chorus- singing at bedtime and in the world-weary faces of people she meets and a sweet prayer at lunch and in the chattering woods at noontime and in the catnap and the quiet orange of dawn and in the bustle of the city on a random Monday afternoon and in the book reading on the couch and the making of a proper place setting to host a tea and the up and down emotions that plague a day…

and how in all of these things:::::

:::: All these things…

:::: He is the Creator, the Comforter, the Redeemer, the Savior, the Friend, the Father:::

The LORD.

Over all of it.

This life.

This learning.

He reigns over it all in His love.

And I am driven by that.

Because He has called me to this.

::::::And that is that.That.is.enough.for.me.

There is this love-life-learning in all things.

All things.

And I desire her to learn life through the lens of His love. To know that all things point to Him.

The mundane and the starry-eyed. The low and the abounding. The light and the dark.

In all of my imperfections, joy, weaknesses, certainty, shallow thoughts, jumpin’ up and down, tired moments, can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this-homeschool-thing, excitement, uncertainty, smiles, frustration, hugs, throwin’ my hands up in the air and in my contentment…

I want her to see Him in it all.

And what do I want her to learn?

How He loved us so much, He gave His life to give us life.

And how all that we do, our learning, our waking up and our settling down, our breathing in and our exhaling out reverberates with that kind of enduring, unfathomable mercy- love that ends and begins in life…

bound by, given by and grown by grace.

Next week, in our little corner of this world, we start homeschool.

I simply cannot wait to see what He is going to teach us.

And these words… shall be on your heart… you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. +Deuteronomy 6

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